Just A Stop.
Since I completely trashed my last post with my rambelings, I'll give this one a break.
I found no better way to convey what I want to say than through this short dialogue.
Some things are meant to be but stops, to discover a little more about who you are and move on to put your mark else where. Moreover, happiness, completion and what not, does not lie in another individual. Actually, they lie within ourselves. Sometimes our interaction with others is a way we subconsiously communicate to the self- a call to look beyond the superficial image and claim our own happiness.
In the end, life is all about self discovery. The people you meet, and the places you go, are but littles of peices of yourself, either yet unfound or yet to be understood.
Carpe Diem ;)
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"No No No. That wasn't how it was supposed to happen".
"But it’s the way it happened nonetheless."
"It was great. It was supposed to grow, and develop and become something nice."
"Well, it didn't grow. It ended instead."
"Ugh. Aren't you mad, sad, frustrated?"
"Should I be?"
"Yes. Yes you should be. It was perfect. It was supposed to last."
"Perfect was far from what it was. And last, it did not".
"Fine. He was perfect"
"No. He has his flaws."
"Okay. You were perfect for each other."
"Apparently, life doesn't agree with you on that point."
"I don't care about life. Do you agree with me on that point?"
"No, sadly I don't either."
"Why the hell not?"
"Because he resurrects an old part of me that drags me farther away from the me I want to be."
"Yeah, but it's all you in the end you know - past and present. Besides, everything else was fine."
"Maybe. But only because you couldn't see the invisible barriers."
"Barriers are nothing, if not made to make it all harder. But you overcome them."
"What if I secretly don't want to? Because they provide a rare comfort as opposed to vulnerability?"
"Shouldn't you be feeling crushed?"
"Not really, no."
"I know I would be."
"No one has that kind of power over me. It's lethal."
"Then how are you feeling?"
"A part of my mind mourns the loss of a worthy adversary.It will wear black for along while. But a bigger part of my mind claims its needto make new footprints along a fresh path."
"So this was all just a place where you left footprints?"
"I guess"
"I fail to understand. You finally meet someone you can bond with on that high up plane. And when it's over. You're okay."
"I'm not okay. I'm just aware that it has happened and is no longer happening."
"Listen, things don't just 'happen' like that. You were fine, happy for a while. It should of continued being happy."
"Things always 'happen' just like that. A mere action, a spoken word or a perception can change larger outcomes."
"Look just tell me really, what happened?"
"It's simple really. I am who I am, right? Yet, I am not enough of who I want to be. Me and him was just another way for me to find out more about the person that I am, as opposed to the one that I want to be . And when I found out all I needed to know, then that just marked the end."
"You know I hate when you go all philosophical on my ass."
"No. I'm saying he was just a stop, as nice of a stop as it was - he wasn't my destination. Just a stop."
"Like a bus?"
"Ugh. You have a very skilled way of just killing everything."
"And you have a very skilled way of just being numb. Feel a little."
"I try feel enough. Not more, not less. Just enough to keep me going."
"Uhuh. Brick"
"I beg to differ."
"Block of steel."
"Dropping topic."
wow..o-em-gee!! wow..mashallah..the way u use ur words..its just so delicate + superb...u seriously leave me speechless + that rarely happens!! i'll leave another comment wen i think of something smart to say!! :P
Thanx for sharing..really :*
I wish everyone was like you. Would that be possible, can we do little CD clones that wonder the face of earth? Like little munchkin, but deeper. It can be done, you say? Well, HAZZAH!
So, your way of thinking is great. It's sad that people require testicles to think like that, to see everything as simple as that. If it didn't happen, then it didn't. No need to dwell over every detail, it is what it is. Simple as that? Oh hell yes. You learned something so take that with you and that in itself is a pretty sweet reward.
I get referred to as having a "guy's brain" by a lot of people ;x. Bs wallah mb m3awra rase o mta3ba nafse 3ala rayal, hw yabi yt3ab? Be my guest.I love that there's someone else in the world with my ideals. I can die blissfully now :')
i believe that in essence, that is the most mature and productive way to deal with any bad situation.
if you didn't say: "A part of my mind mourns the loss of a worthy adversary. It will wear black for a long while." i would have said that you are in denial.. but you seem to measure every word you say.. which is very commendable
"I try feel enough. Not more, not less. Just enough to keep me going." - This reminds me of myself.
For you not to have a breakdown -like any other normal person- in dark times like these shows you have a very strong character with control over your emotions, you seem to know what you want from life most of the time.
I applaud you for that (:
-Hearts Charm:
Thanks for commenting. You know, keep going like this and there'll be no force strong enough to ever hold me down to the ground, and that can be seriously dangerous :P
And you can say anything, anytime.
-Heroine:
I know right? I came to that conclusion a long time ago. There really should be more people like me. I wouldn't mind the clones. As long as they report to me first. Yes?
Aww, thank you. You need no testicles at all. I guarantee you I have none. You don't believe me do you? *sigh*. No one ever does :P
Anyway. Yes. If it didn't happen, don’t make it happen. Don't latch on to something that was never there, nor will ever be. Just take those little things you picked up along the way with you, and move on- chop, chop, the world awaits.
Oh yes, men are everywhere. Really. Eggs come in dozens. Men come in masses. So take your pick, don’t let one dictate your life, or become of so much importance that you become sickly dependant.
I'm glad we think alike too. As for dying blissfully, (I'm not too sure, but I think they have a flunky holding a plank card with my name engraved on it at the gates of hell - special service. You can so picture right?) I can totally empathize.
-Froggie (can I call you that? Yes?):
Agreed. The best to handle something is to lose the emotional turmoil, and rationalize. Simply accept some things/place are just not where you’re meant to be/go.
I think the soul feeds on emotion and it just creates an excess of it, but the mind should be able to deflect and filter most of the unnecessary ones.
You just like to relish in my awesomeness don’t you? :p
Its okay, I relish in my awesomeness too.
-super-sonic
Hmm, see here’s the thing: I don’t think such an event is a dark time – its sad, sorrowful maybe, but not dark. I fully understand that some characters are stronger than others and can handle things better, but even then, no one should breakdown completely because of a ‘guy’ or a ‘girl’. For me the only time breaking down in justified, is when I become a person I cannot recognize, or when I reach a state where I am no longer satisfied with the person that I am. These are dark times; where one cannot identify with themselves. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that people cannot feel loss – no it would be rather machinelike of them to not. But to feel incomplete or unwanted or like your life has hit terminal state – well that’s an over exaggeration by far. People are replaceable for they easily come and go, as their nature dictates. One’s self however, when lost, I would imagine will prove to be very hard to revive.
On another note, I live to suppress and move forward. I believe I more than owe it to myself to do so.
Thanks for commenting :)
P.S I’m really liking the reversed smiley. A super-sonic signature?
Ohh I believe you don't. It's just that way of thinking is usual linked to men. And a girl who thinks like that fel 5aleej is just so unheard of! We're supposed to be all "I need you", "I can't breathe without you".
We suck. We should be shipped to India. Seriously though, I'd kill to live there. Imagine WE pick the husbands. We decide who's worthy of raising OUR children. We have them sit around all day and their spinsterhood depends on whether we want them or not. Oh just the idea makes me jump around in joy.
Good! Phew. Someone believes me!
Hmm, it's not really a man/woman way of thinking issue. It's just a profound love for the self at the end of the day more than anything or anyone else. It's an acceptence of failures, and endings along with successes and beginings. Endings can be beautiful too, in their own way.
No one needs anyone but themselves and air to breathe. Anyone confusing these things is bound to be hit hard on the face at some point in their life.
I would love to be shippd to India. *Rejoices and claps hands excitedly!* We'll go together...yes?
Yep, exactly. It's not the end of the world, but you know people and their soap-opera-dramatic lives. Suppress and progress that's the way I do it.
PSS. Indeed it is. C;
super-sonic -
Too many of those people exist.
Their lives are like an egyptian movie and indian movie had a showdown. But I guess they like it that way?
Hmm, I like that motto.
Haha! Okay then.